just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
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