Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Randomize
