thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
