id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
