I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
