I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
operation harelip BJ is a go
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
