You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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