Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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