If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
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