Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Randomize
