Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
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