My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
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