love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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