I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
