Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
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