So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
