he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
