you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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