So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
