he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
