dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Randomize
