You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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