my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Can you bring me the toilet please
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
