me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Randomize
