I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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