What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Randomize
