No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
