Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
