omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
