i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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