If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
