they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
