Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
