This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
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