I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
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