That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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