He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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