you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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