I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
i will never coherently bang her
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
