I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
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