He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
