My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
