I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
