I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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