The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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