Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize
