I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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