we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
