he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
