Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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