she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
We had sex on a dog bed..
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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